She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
