You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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