1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
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She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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