fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
