May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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