Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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