Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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