sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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