I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
