Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
