I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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