real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
