guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
