adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
