We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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