i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
