Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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