hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
