It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Even my vagina gasped.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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