So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
