And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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