I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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