she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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