Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
