haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
