Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
soo... how was my night?
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