I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
