Soap is not a condiment
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
