Buhtt sex?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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