How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
