All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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