I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
