let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
