New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
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i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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