ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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