We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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