I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
