You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
