a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
