In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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