im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
