absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize