Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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