I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize