If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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