Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize