I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
