Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
