No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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