Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
