No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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