Porn is love you can see.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
