did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
