i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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