she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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