We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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