Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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