I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
