Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
