you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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