New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...