You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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