I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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