They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
