Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
