Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
