is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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