dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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